2020 marked the beginning of a new tradition. To kick off the new year I booked a one night stay at a local hotel to reflect on 2019 and set my intentions, life shifts, goals and biggest dreams for the year to come. The 12 hours of complete solitude gave me the space and mental quiet I needed to dive deep into the swirling waves of thoughts and emotions that come with that start of a new year.
What. A. Year. 2019 was overflowing with changes personally, professionally, mentally, spiritually, emotionally...the progress of this year is highlighted even more by the state I was in at the beginning of it. 2019 began the same as the previous two years had...in a daze. Confused, foggy, mentally and physically exhausted and completely at a loss as to what the next steps in life were supposed to be. I felt suspended in time.
So often in my journaling time I revisit the past, sometimes going back to specific situations or conversations years ago. I'll redo that one argument in my head with all the new information I have. I'll not waste my time on that guy because NO, he didn't treat me the way I deserve. I'll not let certain people push me around with their words because I was too timid or lacked the confidence to stand firm in my worth.
In a season that has evolved to celebrate romantic love more than anything else, we want to bring the focus back to self-love. As a society, we have reached epidemic levels of personal neglect. We chronically prioritize anything and everything before ourselves and all in the name of love.
We like to use the phrase “Take a good long look in the mirror” when we are talking about looking within ourselves and accepting who we are…but what if the mirror is lying? What if our eyes have chosen not to see some of the parts that aren’t so pretty?
"We are an unsung song, piano keys that don’t know the touch of fingertips. The kite with string still spooled tight, and antique bird wings that never know the taste of air. We are all that is, waiting to be all it could be".